Tracing A Birth Parent

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Tracing a birth parents

My name is David Oates, I am the Head Researcher at Relative Connections, you can view my LinkedIn by clicking here. I am also the director of the adoption support agency which is regulated by Ofsted. I am a highly regarded and experienced family tracer and intermediary. I have spoken about finding long lost family on BBC Radio 5 and was part of the featured team on BBC1’s Family Finders TV series

Last year we were contacted by a young lady called Sumara who was searching for her Grandmother on behalf of her father and uncle. They were looking for their Mother Gill.

The family were understandably nervous about such a vast undertaking due to the situation around how they had lost touch with their Mother in the first place.

Sumara gave us some really useful background information that her Father and Uncle were taken away from their mother and were brought up in Pakistan when they were just 2 and 4 years old. They always knew that this was their father’s decision. They returned to the UK when they were in their late teens but never thought to try and find their mother.

We were delighted to take this find Birth Parents search on and could immediately tell how important this was for Sumara and her family.

We didn’t know at the time but whilst Jamil and Javid were been raised by their Father back in Pakistan, their mother Gill went on to have another daughter Claire and it’s her story that we pick up now…

“You were contacted last year by a young lady called Sumara who was looking for a lady called Gillian on behalf of her Dad Javide and his Brother Jamil. Gill is their mother and because of Relative Connections, they are now reunited after more than 50 years!

I am actually Gills daughter and never knew that Mum had two sons before me which was a big shock and also a shock for Mum that she had been found.

After coming to terms with the news I learned more about her story and sadly her boys were taken away from her to Pakistan and from this thinking, she would never see them again she chose to never speak about them because of the pain.

Now 50 years on! We both have regular contact with them.

I have gone from just me and Mum as a family to now a large family who are so loving and supported. We all have regular contact. Mum nearly died last year from cancer and she can now have peace in her heart being brought back together. I can’t quite believe it that they were taken from her when the boys were only 2 and 4. They returned to England when they were around 16 years old and always knew that their Dad had taken them but still it must have been so hard for them and my Mum too. It’s so special that we are now all together.

A big thanks to your team for bringing us all together.”

It’s easy to see why this story of two sons desperate search to find their mother made our blog this week. We know what we do is important, we know that it is life changing and we never forget that. Our job is to leave no stone unturned in all searches and ensure that you are supported and looked after throughout the process of finding your parent.