Searching for adopted sibling
Searching for adopted sibling is a huge challenge but is something that we can help you to do. This guide will give you hints and tips on how you can search for an adopted sibling.
Firstly, did you know there are many rules and laws around tracing people who are adopted? Secondly, how you choose to contact an adopted sibling once you have found them can be really critical to get right.
We’ve seen many relationships get off to rocky starts when two relatives contact each other without professional support.
So, if you are looking for an adopted sibling, we would encourage you to at the very least have a chat with us. Our number is 0113 282 5900 and we are available Monday to Friday between 9am and 5pm UK time. We can offer you advice and tell you about our adoption tracing services.
My name is David Oates, I am the Head Researcher at Relative Connections, you can view my LinkedIn by clicking here. I am also the director of the adoption support agency which is regulated by Ofsted.
Ofsted and Adoption Work.
Ofsted regulate adoption agencies in England and Wales. This because to access the relevant adoption records AND to legally carry out adoption intermediary work, you need to be Ofsted registered.
Ofsted are in charge of the work and there are many rules around this work. This means they go above and beyond in terms of the work they do.
The work they carry out is exceptional. They can access your adoption file if you were adopted. This means they can find the information needed to make finding your sibling possible. They also specialise in offering you and your siblings the emotional support you might need throughout the course of a search.
It’s good to know that they can provide counselling too. That would be for you and your sibling.
So how do you go about searching for adopted sibling
Well, the simplest answer is to use a professional organisation. It just means that everyone is protected and looked after. It means you would be supported.
You might not feel like you need supporting at the moment, but we like to have that safety net around people. That goes for our clients who are not affected by adoption too.
Watch out for well-intentioned people
There are both trace companies and individuals on the internet that will help you bypass all this process. We would not recommend using them. If they are not Ofsted registered it is unlikely, they are following the correct guidelines.
They may well help you. They may even act as an intermediary for you. However, if they are not Ofsted registered, they are acting illegally.
We’ve seen examples of this in the past and it is why we teamed up with Joanna North Associates.
There are some well-meaning and well-intentioned people on the internet. There are groups you can sign up to and individuals who will help you for low amounts of money but please think twice before going down a road that could lead to a dead end or worse.
How to prepare for a search
If you called us to find out more, we would run through the process. Beyond that we would ask you some questions and have a conversation with you.
This would be about what you know about your adopted sibling and about the adoption it related to. Each person has their own unique story so it’s really important that we get to hear yours. Once we have that information, we can offer you specific advice on how we can best help you.
So, if you are thinking of working with us then firstly, make a cup of tea, grab a note pad and simply write down what you know, what you would like to know and what you are trying to achieve by searching for your adopted sibling.
We wouldn’t be presumptuous and tell you why you are searching. In truth everyone has their own reason for wanting to reach out to an adopted sibling.
Outcomes of a search for your sibling
There are many outcomes to think about when you are on this journey. And it would be unfair to not mention them. It is after all important to be prepared for any eventuality that could arise.
Here are some outcomes of a search. All can be scared. All you can be supported with. It’s important to know that. It’s not necessary to not search if you are scared of a particular outcome. You can be guided and supported if you need answers.
- They would like contact with you
- They wouldn’t like contact with you
- They don’t respond to our reaching out
- They have passed away
- Its not the right time for them
As you can see there at first glace you might assume that there is one positive outcome and four less positive ones. Well in truth that is not quite right.
Many people have a positive experience, and this accounts for more than the rest put together. It’s just important to consider how you would feel if one of the other outcomes happened.
Searching for answers that never appear
People who come to us are often looking for answers. They talk about a piece missing from their life. They talk about needing to get answers. We hear that much more often than, I’d like to go for a coffee. In truth it is all connected.
Often siblings are happy to hear from one another. After all, the adoption is something that happened to you and them rather than because of you or them.
So, with that in mind with gentle, professional contact it is very possible that the search will be a positive outcome for all parties.
We can’t guarantee that, but we can guarantee that we have a proven method for searching for siblings and contacting them when we do.
We hope you have enjoyed this article and if you ever feel ready to talk to us about your own search then you can do on 0113 282 5900. We are a UK based team and would be delighted to hear from you.
If you are experiencing any mental health issues, then there are many places to get help and support such as Hub of Hope – https://hubofhope.co.uk/