How To Find An Estranged Family Member

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How to find an estranged family member.

People become estranged for many different reasons.

My name is David Oates, I am the Head Researcher at Relative Connections, you can view my LinkedIn by clicking here. I am also the director of the adoption support agency which is regulated by Ofsted. I am a highly regarded and experienced family tracer and intermediary. I have spoken about finding long lost family on BBC Radio 5 and was part of the featured team on BBC1’s Family Finders TV series

We have many conversations on a weekly basis about how to find an estranged family member. And we offer many solutions on helping you find and contact estranged family members too.

We have heard stories from family fall outs, people distancing themselves due to changes in relationships. Through to people just wanting to start a new life for their own personal reasons.

What we would say (first hand) is, don’t give up hope.

People need time. They need room to work out what they want from life. To consider the outcomes and effects of reconnecting back with family after so long.

This isn’t a bad thing and doesn’t always mean that you’ll never see this family member again.

We have solved many cases of family estrangement. The best example is that of a story from a case we solved a few years back of Jennifer and John.

Jennifer and John are twins. They we’re the closest a children but grew much closer as they got older through to their teens years into the twenties.

One day John went missing. There was major concern for him as this was unusual behaviour.

The police we’re involved and eventually his car was found at Dover port, abandoned. There was no sign of John and no evidence of him boarding to leave the country. The family feared the worst.

Interpol we’re involved to continue investigation overseas but after quite some time the investigation was closed, and John was officially declared dead in the assumption his was lost at sea.

This wasn’t enough for Jennifer.

She never gave up hope. Call it twin instincts or sibling intuition but the bond for Jennifer never broke.

She knew John was still out there. She felt it in her heart. And as the case was never solved it became her life mission to understand what happened to John. She was determined to find him.

Fast forward some forty plus years…we receive a call.

Jennifer tells her story to us and like a dog with a bone we grasp it with both hands. If there is one thing we have, its tenacity.

We love a challenge and have a real determination to solve the impossible or more difficult cases, especially the ones where people have previously failed.

We instantly set about searching for John.

Using the snippets of information Jennifer supplied and knowing the details about his last known whereabouts and the circumstances we we’re able to find historical traces for John in Spain.

This was great and helped reaffirm Jennifer’s beliefs all these years.

After quite some investigation, John was found. We have located him living is Spain. He had started a new life. He felt he needed to get away from everything.

He had his own reasons but so much time had passed now that he was elated. He couldn’t wait to have contact with his twin sister, Jennifer.

As expected, Jennifer was in shock. She always knew and believed he was out there. Imagine forty years of wondering, thinking and searching to finally have this solved.  Imagine the relief.

“My soul is full” she said.

She had the answers she had longed for all her life. And we were there with her, with them both to support them through to an amicable way forward at a pace they were both comfortable with as always.

We we’re overjoyed and the moment they met was truly magical.

John said “The feeling of being together again is exactly the same as it was forty years ago”.

They we’re happy to share their story with us and we’re grateful and privileged to have met them both in person and have the opportunity to record and share their story with you.

You can watch Jennifer and Johns story over on our YouTube channel Relative Connections TV.

The message from us is the same as always…

If you are trying to understand and investigate how to find an estranged family member and you feel it in your heart that they are still out there then please, don’t give up hope.

If others have failed, this doesn’t mean it’s not possible. Everyone is traceable and the answers are out there.

You just need the right connections and channels to follow, partnered with the pure grit and desire to find out.

This is what we do.

We care. We care about you. About who you’re looking for. And about helping you find resolution and closure, like we did for Jennifer and John.

It just takes that little leap of faith and trust on your part, and we promise to do everything we can to help.

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