How are you feeling? I really want to know because its important if you’re going to find someone, let me explain…
This blog post has been written by David Oates, Head Researcher at Relative Connections Ltd and author of Long Lost Family Tracing. He has also acted in a consultary role for many TV production companies.
David Oates – Head Researcher at Relative Connections
I wanted to write a blog post that didn’t talk directly about finding people. Instead I wanted to look at some of the downsides to finding people, that’s right I do think for some people there is a downside. For example did you know that is some cases, the amount of questions people ask themselves causes them so much anxiety that it’s difficult to advise them on the best course of action. They are so worried about how they will be received by the person they want to find that they go over and over it in their own minds to the point where they drive themselves crazy. I would always advice these people to think long and hard about their next course of action, the truth is though that they can’t STOP thinking about it!
We have some people who will phone us and ask us to trace a birth parent for example, then ten minutes later will phone back to cancel the search, then phone again and re-instruct us. When this happens I personally call the person and make sure that they are comfortable with the process and to just set their mind at rest. These people are clearly feeling worried about searching for someone and if it’s always been a massive issue in your life then that’s totally understandable but my advice is always the same, you will always wonder about them, you will always have questions for them, you will always want that hole to be filled so surely it’s better to bite the bullet and take action?
Well you would say that I hear you cry!
The truth is, we find A LOT of people every day, we’re really, really good at it so I know first-hand, that the finding bit is not the problem, that’s the easy bit so to speak. We can access a much higher level of data than Joe Public and as a consequence our success rate is over 92% so finding the person is rarely an issue but I’m not talking about the finding part, I’m talking about you being ready to find your person from a personal point of view, from a mind-set point of view. Some people will read this and think its nonsense and for those people I urge you to stop reading and just give us a call if you want someone finding, this blog post is written for people who are struggling with two thoughts,
I want to find X person…. BUT is it the right thing for me and them?
If that’s you please read on…
I read a lot of books, books about mind-set and books about decision making (the best I’ve read is Tony Robbins – Awake the Giant Within, amazing book for this type of thing) – he talks about making key decisions in your life and that’s what I’m talking about. If you are driving yourself crazy by not knowing if you should go ahead with the search then you NEED to make a decision. My thoughts are, you will have to make the decision to proceed with a search whether it’s by us or another company because that’s the only way you’ll get answers to your questions and bring closure on the issues. It’s the only way you’ll find peace with the issue.
My personal passion is reuniting people, I love to do it, I love to help and support all parties through the process. I think it’s challenging but it’s the most rewarding job I’ve ever had. In fact it’s not really a job for me anymore, I just don’t look at it like that. I know I change people’s lives forever and that’s just too important to label it as a job. I hope this has helped you in some small way. If you want to hear more about Tony Robbins then this YouTube video will really help you. It’s all about making decisions and its really good…
I’ve got a really great blog post for next week. I’m going to be reviewing some really great people tracing resources. Look out for that, it will be live next week.