Finding out you have a half sibling is a big deal. In this new article we’ll talk about…
- How that might make you feel
- What you might choose to do
- Who might you need to speak to
- What you might want to know or find out
About the Author
My name is David Oates, I am the Head Researcher at Relative Connections, you can view my LinkedIn by clicking here. I am also the director of the adoption support agency which is regulated by Ofsted. I am a highly regarded and experienced family tracer and intermediary. I have spoken about finding long lost family on BBC Radio 5 and was part of the featured team on BBC1’s Family Finders TV series
Life changing moments like this can happen to anyone. So, if you have found out that you have a half sibling acknowledge that. Take some time to do nothing.
Acting on emotion is not always the right thing to do. If finding out, you have a half sibling has caused any mental health trauma then please seek medical attention.
We want to make sure we answer your questions and cut straight to the chase so let’s get started.
How you might feel.
If you have just found out, you have a half sibling you might be experiencing a range of emotions. This could be happiness, after all life has just become a bit more interesting. You might feel angry that you were not told sooner.
You might be feeling nonplussed about your half sibling.
Or really excited.
No matter how you feel allow yourself time to come to terms with this new news. It is not a time to rush or to be all guns blazing.
It might have opened a wound or made you think differently about someone. If that is the case, it is even more crucial to try and relax.
What you might choose to do when you find out you have a half sibling.
As we said do nothing for a while. Don’t be hasty. You might have been told you have a half sibling and their name and where they live.
You might have been told you have a half sibling but not know anything about them. Regardless take some time.
After that you have some options of what you can choose to do.
If you have been told who they are and where they are then you can attempt to make contact with them.
You could do this yourself but consider the outcomes you might face. We’ll talk about outcomes in a later section of this article.
Maybe you don’t have a name, or you have a name of your half sibling but no address. In this case you might choose to use a tracing agency to find them.
Using a tracing agency to find a half sibling.
Most tracing agencies (us included) can find your half siblings through DNA if you do not have a name or by traditional tracing methods if you do.
Finding them yourself.
Of course, you could also do some tracing from home. To do this you would use things like Facebook, Google searching and birth, death, and marriage records. It is good fun to do it yourself, but the tracing agencies will be able to access better quality information.
Contacting a half sibling via an Intermediary.
Once you have their address you can make contact or use an Intermediary (like us) to make contact for you. We find this way protects you and your half sibling and allows us to emotionally support you both.
Who might you need to speak to?
When you find out this information it might be important to get some context. So, you could choose to speak to the following people,
- Your parents. If they are still alive, they could tell you more about your half sibling. It is very possible that you don’t want to involve them or that they were the ones to tell you. If that is the case, it may be worth having a secondary conversation about it.
- Other family members or family friends. Maybe there are people who could fill in the blanks for you.
- Professional people. Such as counsellors, they would be able to help you process the news in a positive way.
- Your own friends. A good friend is always a good place to start when you get news like this.
As you can see you can you have people around you that can support you. It might be a good idea to use them.
What you might want to know or find out?
Of course, this goes back to their name and address. The circumstances of their existence and everything in between.
You might go the other way and not want to know anything. It’s your decision. Make sure you make a decision that suits you and your immediate family.
Something else to think about.
What are the possible outcomes of finding and contacting a half sibling?
- You find them and they want contact with you
- You find them and they don’t want contact with you
- You find them and they are ill
- You find them and they have passed away
You might look at these outcomes and think that some are positive outcomes, and some are less so. In truth they are just outcomes and they all could give you a feeling of completeness.
It may be sad and emotional to find out that your half sibling has passed away, but you might find that they have a family you can get to know.
You might find that they had a wonderful life. So, you might get all these answers you need to feel it was worthwhile to find your half sibling.
They outcomes are provided to give you some ideas of what could happen. It is important that you know that there are lots of outcomes.
You need to ensure you feel strong enough emotionally to deal with them. With our service we provide lots of emotional support so you can count on that, but you still need to be thinking about outcomes.
Final thoughts on searching for a half sibling
Overall finding out you have a half sibling can be the start of a journey. A journey to get answers. A journey to make contact. There are lots of positive things that could come from this journey, but it is important to go into the journey prepared.
As we said at the start, take some time to digest your thoughts. If you want to know more about our services, then please get in touch we would be delighted to help in anyway we can.
We hope you enjoyed reading this article and got some good answers from it. Good luck with your search to find your half sibling.