Finding My Birth Mother

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pamela sitting in white couch

Finding My Birth Mother

My name is David Oates, I am the Head Researcher at Relative Connections, you can view my LinkedIn by clicking here. I am also the director of an adoption support agency which is regulated by Ofsted.

I have spoken about finding long lost family on BBC Radio 5 and was part of the featured team on BBC1’s Family Finders TV series.

Pamela had searched for her birth mother for many years without success until she found Relative Connections through our work with BBC’s Family Finders. This is Pamela’s story.

“I had been wondering about Finding My Birth Mother for a very long time.

I needed to fill in a very large black hole in my heritage, both for my own children’s sake and myself, but loyalty and a fear of being rejected once again, postponed my decision to go ahead.

I then plucked up the courage to approach your tracing company, not really knowing what to expect.

I felt at this time any information would be better than none – I was not disappointed. Having done several searches before, a long time ago and got absolutely nowhere with my search, I needed help.

By sheer chance, I put the TV on early one morning. The television does not normally go on in our house until early afternoon, and there you were on Family Finders on BBC. So I didn’t hesitate and leapt at the chance that you may be able to do something for me.

I had absolutely no doubts at this point I wanted Relative Connections to help me, seeing as I had got nowhere with my initial attempts previously. I realised watching your programme that you were thoroughly professional, discreet and compassionate in the way you dealt with cases like mine.

The process was just brilliant, I telephoned Relative Connections having researched you on the Internet.

I spoke to Mel who was so kind and understanding I felt completely comfortable in giving her personal details regarding my situation, knowing it would be handled with complete confidentiality.

A few weeks later when Dave Oates phoned me to say you had traced her. I was overwhelmed with the emotion in the moment and it took me a little while to compose myself, and take in the enormity of you having found her. She was living in the USA.

This was difficult as I had also asked you to act as mediators for me, so I knew I had to wait. With my mother being in America I had to exercise patience! Finding my Birth Mother was proving to be as emotional as I thought it would.

The day I was given contact details, I telephoned my Mother. I had to wait for a while, which was really difficult for me, as the whole family being in America and the time difference really tested my patience.

Finally… that call was made, the emotion was overwhelming and scary.

My Mother told me on that first phone call, that she had often thought about me, prayed for me and loved me. She told me that I had 4 brothers and 2 sisters, who have also now been in contact with me, basically I have been welcomed into my family.

My Mother made me feel that we had ‘met for coffee’ the day before, the years didn’t matter and were inconsequential.”

american family picture

Pamela has just returned from a visit to America to meet her birth family. This was her first day and it was wonderful….

“The message I would like to get through is never give up! It was a fantastic reunion, I had a brother drive all night from Washington, a brother who flew in from Texas, a sister who drove 200 miles, another Sister who drove 150 miles to attend that family meal. One of my brothers lives close to Mom and he’s the one in the picture, we bonded immediately and he and his family are now very close to me.

Many thanks to Relative Connections for EVERYTHING!!!”

Thank you so much to Pamela and her family for sharing their story and photos. We are so happy to see a family reunited after such a long time.

If Relative Connections have helped you and you would like to share your story please get in contact.

If need some help finding your Birth Mother call us now on 0113 282 5900