Finding My Birth Father – This week’s blog comes from a daughter who was desperately trying to find her birth father. However, she didn’t think she had enough information to find him until she came to Relative Connections.
Here is Amy’s story…
“My mum left my dad when I was 3. All I knew for sure was his name and that he was in the army. I couldn’t go to family for answers as they all supported mum in keeping a distance. Over the years she would let information slip like where he was from and what he was like. It was never positive but they were all clues. I tried looking on sites that reunite soldiers and mentioned his name and who I was. A few people recognised the name but were no longer in touch. I also tried contacting a few people that matched his name in the phone book, but with no luck! I realised that with the small amount of information that I had, I wasn’t going to get far. So, I searched for help. I found Relative Connections and read some fantastic reviews. So I decided to give them a try.
I knew that I had limited information and that I was going to have to pay for the service. I ran a risk of losing the money but when I weighed it up, the amount of money I was being asked to hand over was nothing compared with the possibility of being reunited with my biological dad.
I made the call and spoke to a member of the team who took all of the information that I had to offer and they got to work. I felt like I really mattered and that everyone was trying hard and working quickly to find my dad.
In no time, I was given a last known address and contact number for someone who was believed to be my dad!
I wrote myself a list of things that I wanted to say because I knew I would freeze if this was the right number for my father. I called and listened to the dial tone. It took all of my strength not to hang up, I was shaking with nerves.
A woman answered and I panicked. I asked to speak to Mark but she wanted to know who I was. So, I told her that I think I may be his daughter. I was handed over and the first thing he said was my name – It Was Him!
For 23 years I had felt like he had abandoned my brother and I, but I could hear in his voice that this wasn’t the case. He told me that he had tried to stay in touch but that he was told to stay away and the fact that we had moved several times made it impossible for him to find us. He told me that when he closes his eyes he could still see the day my mum drove us away from him as if it were yesterday.
Within a month I went, with my husband, my 2 children, my brother and his partner, to meet my dad. We spent a weekend with him and had a fantastic time. I have since spoken to my grandparents and hope to meet them soon too. I speak as often as I can over the phone with my dad until I can visit again.
This triumph didn’t come without its problems. It did cause a temporary rift in the family because I went against my mums wishes, but I also knew that they would over come any anger they had. We are all fine now, in fact better than ever.
Without Relative Connections I really don’t know if I would have ever been able to find my dad. I am so grateful to the whole team for putting me back in contact with him. Amy”
We’d like to thank Amy for letting us share her story and we are so happy that we could help finding her birth father.