Find My Birth Mother – David Oates is our head researcher here at Relative Connections, he’s written a book called Long Lost Family Tracing and was heavily featured on the TV Show Family Finders. David has written this short article about finding your mother and some of the questions you need to consider before you go ahead and try and find her. If you’re looking for another relative then this information will help you too. Over to you Dave.
My name is David Oates, I’m the Head Researcher here at Relative Connections, you can view my LinkedIn profile here.
I am also the director of an Ofsted registered adoption support agency.
David Oates Research Consultant
Find My Mother
Can you find my mother? This is something we are asked on a daily basis by people just like you. It’s easy to forget just what a massive thing this can be for people and it’s my job and the job of my amazing team to guide you through this process. Our consultation team talk various information from you and talk you through what our process is, we like to make this as clear as we can so that you fully understand what we are going to do for you and to make sure you are 100% comfortable with this.
As I said, we’re approached daily by people just like you who are looking for their birth mother, the reasons that they are not in contact with their mum can vary wildly but the core reasons for wanting to find her are always the same,
- A desire to know more about your birth mother,
- A desire to meet her and see what’s she’s like
- To get the answers to questions you’ve always had whizzing round your head
- May be if you’ve lost contact more recently and just want to see if she’s Ok.
Whatever the reasons, from my experience once you’ve filled the form on our website, you’ve already made the decision to find her, maybe not via our service but you’ve started your journey and that’s really positive. Some people, maybe even your friends and family will be trying to tell you that it’s not the right thing to do. Everyone has doubts, after all if you’ve never met your mum then finding her IS a big deal, let’s not hide away from that. It’s my job to make it less of a big deal, by finding her as quickly as I can and doing it ethically for all parties. It’s my job and the job of my team to hold your hand through the whole process as much as we can.
As I was saying, everyone has doubts, people doubt about whether we can actually find her (we will), some people doubt about whether it’s the right thing to do (it is) some people want to make sure we’re the right people to use (we are, you can ask us anything you want, you can even come and have a look round the office if that makes you understand that we’re the best around at finding birth parents).
Find my birth mother
The truth is, it’s easy to sit here typing away and telling you what you should do but only you can make the decision to find your mother, the simple answer is, if you want to, if you really want to, you can. We will find her and help you contact her if you wish. The reason we were chosen for the TV program Family Finders is because we’re the best at what we do, so if you’ve got that nagging question going round in your head, if you’ve got that feeling in your tummy that just won’t go away, I would urge you to use our service to find your birth mother or any other relative. I can assure you that you’ll be treated with respect, so will your birth mother when we find her. I can assure you that it’s the right thing to do but don’t forget, initially this is just between you and us, we work to a strict code of conduct.
When we are asked, can you find my mother, we say yes!