Are You Ready To Find Them?

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Are You Ready To Find Them…

My name is David Oates, I am the Head Researcher at Relative Connections, you can view my LinkedIn by clicking here. I am also the director of the adoption support agency which is regulated by Ofsted.

I had two really great stories for this week’s blog post but they been passed across to the TV production company that we’re working with, so I thought I’d write something myself this week rather than use a customer’s case study.

I can’t talk too much about the TV show but it’s going to be on telly in early June and will be featuring some of our success stories. It’s great to be approached regarding TV work as it’s another sign that we are now widely regarded as the UK’s leading people service for finding long lost family and old friends. That leads me on nicely to what I wanted to talk about this week.

I speak to around twenty people a day and James, one of my team speaks to about the same again.

These are people who are looking for people they’ve lost touch with. Once question that keeps coming up when we speak to people is what reaction they face when the person they are looking for is found. This makes them so nervous that they sometimes don’t feel ready to go ahead with a search. Now I understand this and I sympathise with them and try to explain my thoughts on the matter. I thought I’d write this week’s blog post about this subject.

Are You Ready To Find Them

I have given this subject some thought and I have spoken about it before but it’s really important to make people understand that they shouldn’t feel nervous about tracing someone, as long as you use a reputable company. Obviously that’s easier said than done but what I mean is this…

I believe that you have a right to know who you are and where you came from and truthfully speaking the negative emotions are mainly (although not exclusively) connected to people who are looking for a long lost family member, usually one of their birth parents.

I think that people who are looking for their birth parents are most worried about the reaction they will get if we trace their birth mother or father.

Is it better not knowing than opening a can of worms and finding out they are not nice or they don’t care, that fear of reaction is massive. I can’t say how each individual person will react but what I can say is once you’ve thought about tracing someone, whether that’s a birth parent, another family member or an old friend you’ll forever be thinking about it, so getting answers will stop that worry.

Most people are happy to be found but as with everything in life, there are no guarantees.

On the rare occasion that we have a difficult search, we support the customer through the process and they often talk about getting answers and feeling settled with the outcome even though it wasn’t rose tinted. It’s really about managing expectations for everybody.

That’s why if you’re thinking about tracing anybody, you should use us to do, we’re not the cheapest but we are the best and we’re the best because we care. We not only care about our clients but we also give back to those who are less fortunate than ourselves find out more about how we give back here.

I read on an adoption website that tracing a missing family member is a cathartic thing to do regardless of the outcome.

Because one way or another you’ll get closure on that part of your life.

I hope this has helped you make your decision. If you do want a chat with me about finding someone you can call us to arrange an appointment on 0113 2825000 and we can have a chat.